You have to admit that you – yes you – have been to a fansite or two in your time. A fansite meaning, specifically, to be a website dedicated to a celebrity or popular topic of some kind (I.E.: a film series) made by an “average Joe” type of fan/admirer who is not affiliated with the subject itself in any formal way. When I was a youngster1, celebrity websites of almost any kind were always official and endorsed by the celebrity and/or their management. Nowadays that is definitely not the case. There are fansites to anything and everything, and there are more often than not multiple ones for a single topic. When there are multiple fansites for a single thing, things can get pretty complicated.
One of the biggest “complexities” of the fansite world is the naming of these sites in regards to the celebrity or topic they are dedicated to. There seems to be a very specific algorithm used by fansite creators to determine just how their domains and site titles are chosen, and I have finally exposed it! Amazing! I shall now explain to you all the extremely difficult and tedious task of choosing a fansite name, but please: do not try this at home!
STEP 1: Make it sound official even though it’s not official.
We all know that if a website claims to be official and thus represent or be endorsed by someone but doesn’t have that credibility, that can result in some big trouble! Oh my, we do not want that. So to avoid any legal issues surrounding representation and/or affiliation, you can’t use the words “official”, “approved”, “endorsed”, “authorized”, “recognized”, or any of those other awesome words because that would be a big boo boo.
STEP 2: Register a .com, .net, or .org with [some form of] the topic’s name in it.
This one actually makes sense to me, though, because you obviously want a domain name that says what the site is about. Keep in mind that even when yahoo.com and google.com were new on the block people had no idea what they were when they saw/heard the name. Thus, if you name your site something that is not correlated to the topic of your site, you might hurt your traffic in the long run. The closer you can get to the actual name of the topic of your site, such as a celebrity’s working name (I.E.: britneyspears.com for Britney Spears), the better. If you need a dash in between the first and last names of a person, you may do that. You may also cut down the first name of a person to a single letter and leave the last name intact if that’s what it takes to get a relevant domain (I.E.: kstewart.com for Kristen Stewart) purchased. Hell, if you’ve got the funds, buy anything and everything you can that is related to the person’s name. It doesn’t really matter as long as it goes to the same place under the same crappy site title which is in step 3.
STEP 3: Use specific “keywords” in your site’s title to make it seem more important and useful than it really is.
There are a lot of words that are used over and over and over by fansites that used to seem really innovative, but because they are used over and over and over, they are definitely not. Oh well! Use them anyway so you can fit in! There are levels of superiority in the keywords, so chose wisely. If there were two fansites to a person/topic with the same title that would be some epic dramarama right there and hate mail or possible hacking would ensue. The highest and most desirable level of keywords consists of thing such as:
celebrity name + “fan”; “fans”; “online”; “network”; “source”; “web”; “daily”
If none of these are available because there are just too damn many fansites for the topic you are making another fansite about, make something up that is vague but overall positive, like “Supergirl” or “We love ____” or another unoriginal name/phrase. If you end up doing this, step 4 will definitely be more important to you!
STEP 4: Pad your site description and content with propagandistic and exaggerated words to infer your site is superior to all others around.
This is a rather crucial step for every fansite and not just those that didn’t get a great domain name or site title. If you want your fansite to seem like it is the cream of the crop regardless of the content you have on it, you have to advertise like it is! Using phrases like “non-stop” and “24/7″ make the site sound as though it is always ready to report news and the latest stuff visitors may want, even though fansite owners can’t be available non-stop, 24/7 to update their sites2. Content should also speak to the visitor on a personal and individual level, so using identifying words like “you” and “your” to directly address the visitor at that moment is a good strategy. The last part of this step is to mix in various words representing quality and excellence throughout a fansite to reassure the visitor that your site is the best site to be at. The most commonplace words/phrases are “best”, “number 1″, “ultimate”, “definitive”, and “premier”3. Try to jam in as many of these as you can in as much space as you can find because invariably the next owner who makes a fansite to the same topic you have a fansite for will utilize this strategy. Thus, you might as well join the club and follow suit because if you don’t say your site is the best then what kind of fansite owner are you, anyway?
Voila! You now know the secret to success in the fansite world! Now that you have been briefed on the most tedious and painstaking steps of the fansite creation process, I highly encourage you to go out and make a fansite for something that already has a half a dozen fansites and see how well you do. Good luck!
- …referring to a time when Google was virtually unknown, social networking had not been coined, and a cell phone could only be used for communicating verbally. †
- If the fansite owner(s) are indeed available non-stop, 24/7 then there are much bigger problems going on that need to be dealt with off the internet entirely. †
- The word “premiere” is probably used more than “premier”, but this is only because people are too stupid to realize the former is inaccurate in the vast majority of cases. Oh well. No biggie, right? †
Geekery Saves You Money
I was just flipping channels eating some delicious ice cream when I landed on the television shopping channel QVC. Regardless of the fact that yes, I was indeed watching QVC, the important part of that detail is what exactly was being sold. The item being talked about was an automated computer hard drive backup device. The device was meant to plug into a USB port on a computer and it would simply back up pretty much everything it could grab. I’m sure the majority of people who have ever had a personal computer have had a situation where information/data on their computer was lost, so yes, backing up your computer is very important. However, the thing that surprised me was how expensive the item was. The product itself was $180 (USD (United States Dollars)) and came with other accessories that pushed the total price of the item to over $200. That is a good chunk of change, in my opinion, and thus I realized that being a total geekoid and knowing how to manage my electronic technology entirely myself has saved me quite a good deal of money! To show you all just how much moola I am saving myself, I shall give some detailed examples with potential prices/values! Hooray!
Basic Computer Stuff
The Problem: Setting up a new computer, adding desired software, customizing, data transfer, etc
Potential Solutions: Have a technician come to your home and walk you through it
Price Ranges: $135.99 – infinity (Firedog); $149.99 and up (Geek Squad); $99/hr – $300/4 hour block (Geeks Onsite)
Why Do it Yourself?: Setting up a computer you just bought can be tedious and somewhat confusing, absolutely. New and changing operating system software can take time to adjust to. Connecting all your peripherals and installing appropriate software can also be really boring and even confusing. However, computer technology is very rapidly being upgraded to be easier to set up, customize, and use by pretty much anyone. That said, it is a good idea to learn how to set up a computer on your own eventually versus paying someone to do it for you time and time again. If you learn the first time from a professional, you won’t have to shell out big bucks in the future if you get a new computer. Also, most new computers have warranties so that if you do need help setting up your computer you can call the manufacturer and receive instruction for free.
Potentially Difficult Computer Tasks
The Problem: Upgrading an internal manufacturer part (I.E.: graphics card) to a newly purchased market product
Potential Solutions: Take it to a computer shop to have them install it for you or have a tech come to your home
Price Ranges: $49.99 – $149.99 (Geek Squad); $135.99 (Firedog); may be cheaper at local stores in your area
Why Do it Yourself?: Taking apart a computer can be intimidating, no question. If you are not careful, you can destroy the entire computer without even removing anything via your own static electricity. Even though something like that can happen, it is not as scary to open up a computer as it may seem. The inside of a desktop computer is usually pretty spacious and is not jam-packed full of devices as one would think. You may have to move around wire bundles and what not, but usually the whole process of removing/adding a piece of hardware (like a graphics card or RAM memory) is extraordinarily straightforward. If you have a screw driver, enough lighting, and a steady hand you are in great shape to start out with. The hardest part of adding and removing hardware is the pre-removal process that you have to do before opening up your computer. From my experience, people don’t take enough time to make sure all the old software, drivers, settings, and other files from old hardware are removed and not being used by anything before they install the new hardware. Sometimes extra steps need to be taken that are not described in-depth by a manufacturer in a small Installation Guide, so you should “do your homework” before anything. In all honesty, though, removing software is far more tedious than actually opening up a computer, fiddling with the hardware, and putting it back together. Once you do it the first time, you will feel 1000 times more confident about your computer knowledge and capabilities and will thus start to feel even more comfortable around the inner workings of computers which is always a good thing!
Usually Scary and Explosive Problems
The Problem: Virus and/or malware removal from 1 computer with possible data recovery
Potential Solutions: Take the computer to a tech shop, remotely troubleshoot, or have someone come to your home to repair the damage on-site; get a new computer entirely
Price Ranges: $150 – $400 (Geek Squad); $219.99 – $400+ (Firedog); $139.99/year (iYogi subscription)
Why Do it Yourself?: In the long run, learning how to remove viruses/malware is the best experience to go through in order to learn how to protect your computer from malicious stuff in the first place. Viruses and malware vary in severity and how much they can damage or destroy your computer, not to mention if they are capable of stealing personal information from your hard drive. Removing malware and/or viruses can be tricky to do completely, properly, and safely. If you have a bunch of spyware that is not as malicious as some of the mutating trojans that modify an OS command center and registry, removing the software can easily be done by yourself without the help of a paid professional. If you do end up getting some horrific virus that locks you out of your own computer and overloads the hard disk to the point of permanent corruption, though, I would say pay for someone to fix it or buy a new computer. You only get that one approval from me, though. Haha. As I said, having your computer bombarded by a really malicious virus is a horrible thing to experience, but really it is the best tool to teach every computer user what to avoid to keep their computer and data safe.
Just these three tasks I’ve listed in this post – all of which are extremely commonplace and occur every single day – can really add up to some big bucks if you pay someone else to do them for you. The companies that provide these services make money on customers that have no idea how to do the jobs themselves or are simply too afraid to do it for fear they will damage their computer. If you are completely new to computers and have no idea what any of the terminology means, then yes, it would be beneficial to have someone else do these tasks. However, I am a big believer that if you have the opportunity to learn how to do a task and troubleshoot your problem(s), absolutely task it. If a professional comes to your house and can show you how a problem needs to be fixed, take the time to listen and learn. It will pay off in more ways thank in just your bank account!
